by rossanahead | May 7, 2011 | career, children, family, Gina Abuyuan, mother's day, woman
By Gina Abuyuan
I recently did a story on Emerson Yao, managing director of the Lucerne Group. Of the third generation of a family of watch retailers, the transformation of the family business is credited to him and his brother Ivan. Now, Lucerne is more than just a retailer. It deals directly with over 50 watch houses, is known for its high profile tie-ups featuring the Philippines as a brand, and strong recall events.
Emerson and Ivan didn’t have a mentor. Their father passed away early. “I was just out of college. There was only one store at that time—my grandfather started it all. My dad was a very simple man. He just had one or two watches. I remember him only wearing one. When he passed away, he left us the store, and that’s it.
“But he taught us a lot of other stuff. Being thrifty, being nice to people, humility, and all that—those are the cornerstone of our success. My father worked seven days a week, 365 days a year. Every day he was in the shop. So when he passed away, that was the only way we knew how to run our business. So we followed him. Looking back, if not because of that kind of a mindset, we couldn’t get to where we are today.”
I was thinking the same thing just a few days ago: If it weren’t for my mom, I would probably be a half-assed, irresponsible good-for-nothing. Don’t get me wrong—there was indeed a stage of my life when I indeed did nothing but party, but being my mom’s daughter made sure I rose beyond and above that.
As early as I can remember, my mom, Lirio T. Abuyuan, was a worker. She was continuously striving to improve her career and her options. When we were young, she packed us all up and moved us all (including my dad) to Wisconsin, where she pursued a PhD. When my dad had to come back to the Philippines, she became a de facto single mom—and having been one as well, I can say she did a pretty good job.
When we came back to the Philippines, I remember her leaving every morning, looking smart in her tailored suits, pumps, and briefcase. I used to love running my hands up and down her stockinged legs, and told myself that someday, I’d have my chance to wear nice nylon stockings too.
She worked long hours but made sure she had time to tutor me and my sister, and eventually, my brother. She threw mean parties at home for her colleagues (she still does, occasionally, for family, and the spreads are always unique and memorable). While holding a relatively high position in government (Assistant Secretary of DENR), she outspokenly turned downed and showed her disgust at people who tried to bribe her. Boy, did she earn a lot of enemies for that—to retaliate, they spread nasty rumors about her, but she stood her ground. When I grew old enough to wear makeup and attend parties and balls, I didn’t have to bother to go to the salon—she would do my hair and makeup herself, and she did it so well that all my friends said she should have opened a salon.
Sure, my mom and I have been at loggerheads too many times than I care to count or recall. But that’s what happens when two strong women clash—and where did I get that strength? From her. That’s also what happens when a mother allows her daughter to think critically and argue her point. (As a mom, I’m learning this freedom is a double-edged sword when it comes to raising kids, but hey, I’d rather have them know how to make a case than just roll over and take it.)
Like Emerson Yao, I don’t know how else I would have gone about doing what I do, working the way I do, if I hadn’t seen my mom build her career and juggle being a mother, wife, and homemaker. People have asked me how I can have the energy to do so many things at the same time. I usually answer with a shrug. A few days ago, and as I write this, I have a concrete answer: because I saw my mom do it.
She’s still the champion, of course. I don’t even come close, considering my age. Aside from still working on projects for the private sector, she goes to the gym, goes ballroom dancing, has time for her derma, travel, takes her grandkids out, and is now developing her own brand of longganisa. Mental, I tell you. Absolutely mental.
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mother’s day article
by rossanahead | May 1, 2011 | career, Gina Abuyuan, parenting, woman
By Gina Abuyuan
I’m a WAHM—a Work At Home Mom. Aside from the assignments I work on at home, most of my time nowadays has been taken up by a book project, for which I go to my client’s home and we pore over her manuscript there.
I’m about to go crazy.
Understandably, I got a wonderful rush yesterday when I went out to my first meeting not situated in a structure with a sala, a kitchen, a bedroom, and a maid to call on when you need water. Finally! An environment with strangers! With food you had to pay for! And me actually caring for how I looked like!
Working from home does have its upsides—obviously, you get to spend more time with your kids and work without having to commute or dress up. On the other hand, it can be stressful, especially when homework needs coincide with deadlines, or clients are a-calling while the kids are causing a ruckus. It also keeps you more than a tad isolated from the outside world and other adults. So much so that a visit to the mall may seem like the most exciting thing to happen all week, and coffee with other grown-ups is something you want to last forever. A burnout isn’t far away if a WAHM doesn’t take care of herself.
How to prevent it? Some tips:
* Set a schedule, just like you would do if you were working in an office. Before or beyond 9 a.m. and 7 p.m., for example, is time for family. Working at home is for naught if you don’t get to enjoy what WAHMs have over regular working moms: getting more time with the kids. During your “off” hours, allow yourself to play. If needed, you can resume your work after the kids are asleep.
* Designate an errand day. Spend one day a week to get everything done outside your home; stuff like paying bills or going on a bank run, doing groceries, going to the dry cleaners or having clothes altered…you’ll get things done while at the same time, preventing cabin fever!
* Designate a “no kids zone” in your home. In my case I had to build a separate room in our garage. As expected, the kids don’t strictly follow the rule and we end up “working” side by side. My partner and I decided it would be better if we rent a studio nearby to serve as our office. The kids haven’t even been there yet, haha.
* Don’t forget downtime with your spouse or partner. After playtime with kids, you and your partner deserve time together. Step out on a date or snuggle up while watching a movie. Lock the door.
* Have lunch with a girlfriend. WAHMs, SAHMs (stay-at-home moms), and regular working moms—it doesn’t matter. We’re all busy in our own ways, but need time to connect and talk about…well, what women talk about. Make an effort to stay in touch with your friends.
* Get some exercise. In between Skype meetings, go for a walk, a run, a swim. Do some yoga. Me, I hop on a stepper and lift free weights while taking a break. Exercise is a great de-stressor.
* Pay attention to your looks and pamper yourself. Looking lousy will make you feel lousy as well. Being able to close deals while you’re in your pajamas may be a perk, yes, but don’t get too used to it. Don’t forget to groom your brows, get the occasional mani-pedi, hair treatment. Stay fab!
by rossanahead | Apr 24, 2011 | career, Education, woman
By Lilia Vengco
Teaching has always been my passion. I started teaching right after graduation many years ago. To this day, I continue to teach and share my knowledge about teaching as an art and a skill to young adults who have chosen to take the path to teaching hearts and molding young minds.
While I no longer handle regular classes, my many years of teaching and administering have deepened my commitment to train young teachers to become better. Doing so has kept me in touch with teachers and school leaders and while I advance in age, I have kept my heart young for these groups of people who share my passion.
In my many years of being a teacher and a school administrator, I have encountered some exceptional teachers along the way who have inspired me and a few terrible ones who probably convinced me that I should do better. I moved on in my chosen ministry and no matter what obstacles came my way with constant prayers I succeeded.
What a joy it is to hear former students greet me anywhere I meet them. And indeed, I meet them everywhere. I meet them when I go to the malls, in church, at the park, at the train station, on the streets, and even on an airplane. These are my rewards.
I believe that becoming an educator has to be a decision that comes from the heart. I am grateful for having been part of the religious, educational community of the Christian Brothers who taught me how to nurture, how to be compassionate, how to love and care for one another, and most of all how to be Christian. I treasure all these in my heart wherever I go. What I am now is the result of the nurturing I experienced with the Christian Brothers.
As I look back and reminisce those wonderful days, I feel a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction. I feel blessed for having been given the opportunity to serve others through teaching.
I strongly encourage young people to join the teaching ministry. It is such a noble vocation that is enriched by the lives of the young people it serves. Nothing is more rewarding than to see young ones grow and develop to be productive citizens and to hear words of gratitude from young teachers and from fellow administrators who aspire to become better.
Yes, it is great to be a teacher!
Lilia Vengco is the former principal of La Salle Greenhills and the pioneering principal of La Salle Canlubang. She is a lecturer at Ahead Tutorial and Review Center and Ahead Professional Network.
by rossanahead | Apr 17, 2011 | career, children, Gina Abuyuan, parenting, woman
By Gina Abuyuan
I would probably now own a Mac Air, have a year’s worth of rent paid, and a lilac Gucci handbag made of the most sublime, buttery leather if I were paid a peso every time I’ve been told/asked:
* “I-feature mo naman ako,” (“Can you do a feature on me?”) when people learn I edit a magazine (well, when I did);
* “Masakit?” (“Did it hurt?”) when they see the tattoo on my wrist; and
* “May lahi kayo?” (“Is it in your genes?”) when people learn I have twins.
And I would probably be now driven around in a mini-van if I gave myself a peso every time I promised myself: “I will not get dramatic about my being a working mom”—and broke it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love being a working mother. I love the adrenaline and challenge it gives me; I love being paid for what I love to do. But sometimes, the stress gets the better of me. I retreat into my selfish, self-centered world and resent the fact that other people (my sister, for instance, who I love dearly, again please don’t get me wrong) have got it easy: their husbands bring home bacon (a full slab at that!), all they’ve got to worry about is the kids’ baon, bring them to and pick them up from school, and make sure dinner is ready when hubby arrives.
But is it really that easy? I once was left sans yaya, when my twin boys were still babies, and a whole day taking care of them left me more sapped than 48 hours putting my then-magazine to bed. I marvel at the energy of my partner’s ex-wife, B, who’s chosen to be a homemaker to her current husband and two daughters. She’s up at dawn, cooks the family’s meals, drives the kids to school, hangs out in the mall while waiting for them to get out of class, drives them back home, takes care of her husband, and drives them to extracurricular activities during the weekends.
One time, when we were corresponding about her son’s schooling and she had missed an e-mail or two, she was profuse in her apologies. She was so busy, she said, but probably not as busy as I was, an editor. I stopped her right there. No way, I told her. It’s OK. Nothing can be busier than a full-time mom and homemaker.
So, yes, I do get emotionally frayed sometimes, especially when deadlines are piling up, editorial assistants are calling, and texting non-stop to follow up on stories, book clients are asking (“but no pressure! Just asking!”) if the copy is ready, and public relations practitioners are requesting for interviews “at the most convenient time.”
But, as I remind myself, that just like B and my sister, I made a choice. I made a choice to be a working mother. Not just a 9 to 5 pencil-pusher, mind you, but the type of worker who needs to hustle and have the ability to speak/write/understand different voices. Sure, I can un-make that choice, but that will mean going against who I am, what I was meant to do, and what I’m happy doing–occasional dramatics notwithstanding.
by rossanahead | Apr 10, 2011 | career, family, woman
By Jane Santos-Guinto
Epiphany has got to be one of my favorite words. Directly translated from Greek epiphaneia, it means “Vision of God.” It’s also the ‘formal name’ of the Feast of the 3 Kings, which is celebrated on the first Sunday after the New Year. In lay man’s (secular) terms, epiphany is a sudden realization–brought about by an inspiring moment, a burst of intuition, or possibly for others, by booze.
Epiphany can come in the unlikeliest of places, the most inconvenient of times. Among my best epiphanies have come while driving along the congested roads of Quezon City (the Philippines’ largest) and at home at two or three in the morning.
These past months I’ve been praying for new epiphanies. You see, I’ve been finding it pretty hard to be 30. My normally busy thoughts border on insane sometimes. I’ve questioned and questioned. And I’ve answered and answered.
Finally, after practically two weeks of hibernation (translated: mental torture), I’ve been led to the following “manifestations:”
(1) I can never be a housewife. I can only do housework if and only when I am happy with my “real” job.
(2) I can express my love to my husband, my mom, my sister, my grandparents, and to everyone else around me in a deeper, truer way when I am really happy with myself and what I’m doing.
(3) I want to write and speak about God.
One of my creative writing professors told me that reflective writing isn’t creative writing. For a long time, I held this as fact. But then, who can outdo us in creativity but the Creator Himself?
I’m hoping this blog’s readers aren’t my professor’s ‘disciples’.
by rossanahead | Mar 17, 2011 | career, parenting, woman
By Bubbles Salvador
Without blinking, I decided to quit my full-time job two months after I had a baby. In my pre-mommy life, I wouldn’t have known what to do with all that free time – and all that free space in my bank account.
I delivered via C-section, but on my second day at the hospital, I was working at my computer, finishing an article that wasn’t due for days. I figured, I could do this.
And so I became a stay-at-home mom. I got some freelance writing work done while the baby napped (oh, how I loved those long afternoon naps!). I figured, I could do this.
Then the baby grew. Now a demanding toddler, Luis is always asking me to “Look, Mommy!” and wouldn’t stop until I actually do. “Patingin!” he would say, trying to grab the phone while I try to send a text message. Can I still do this?
Today, I am still a part-time writer, full-time mom. But there are days I work a full day at an office, and I can’t deny that sometimes I appreciate the peace and quiet. I find myself more productive when I am able to fully concentrate on my work, without having to worry about things like Luis bumping his head the minute I take my eyes off him.
I completely respect working mothers who are able to make time for their family. I wonder if someday, I can do the same. But for now, I still like being able to spend lazy mornings in bed with Luis, taking him out to buy taho from our suki, and taking long walks after his afternoon nap.
The writing can wait. I can do this!
Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash
