by rossanahead | Jan 4, 2012 | career, children, Education, Lyra Pore, parenting, woman
By Lyra Pore Villafana
Every weekend I drive to the nearest aquatic center to take swimming lessons with other adult learners. My classmates are all parents to young children: one is a mother to a sixteen-year-old girl and a seven-year-old boy, another has three children all in grade school and yet another has a two-year-old son.
“I’m doing this for myself,” the mom to the two-year-old said last week. “I work and look after my family, but I need to get away from it all every now and then.”
“Me too,” the mother to the three kids agreed. “I don’t work but I need a bit of time for myself so I don’t go crazy.”
“I have the same reason for coming here,” I revealed. I work full-time and do my best to look after my young family too. It reinvigorates me when I am able to spend even just two hours a week doing something for myself. This is my “me time.”
The mother to the teenage girl and grade-school boy listened intently. She had told me on a separate occasion that she enrolled in swimming class to help her manage her asthma.
My swimming buddies and I are all Asians who have migrated to Australia with our families. None of us is really aspiring to become a strong swimmer. Of course, we want to be able to survive should we fall into the water but to us, it’s not simply about the swimming.
Life overseas is so different to what we’ve all been used to. We don’t have extended families to support us, we and our husbands have to do all the house work ourselves as there is no domestic helper who can do the cleaning, washing, cooking and other chores for us, and none of us has the benefit of live-in nannies. Amidst all these, many of us strive to hold a job as well.
But doing something for oneself isn’t unique to Asian moms coping with the stresses of building a new life in a different country. A few weeks ago, my family was invited to the home of an Australian family ― well the wife was Australian while the husband was British. They had a twelve-year-old daughter who’s been born and raised in Australia.
Every week the wife, who’s an operations manager in a chain of nursing homes, attends piano lessons. “I do it for my brain. I have to keep it working,” she said. So once a week, she spends an hour improving her piano playing techniques.
I do not view these one- or two-hour excursions without husband and children selfish at all. A busy mom has to take care of herself too. It does the whole family a lot of good when the mother takes a bit of time to do something that will help keep her mentally, emotionally and physically healthy.
Photo by Serena Repice Lentini on Unsplash
by rossanahead | Dec 31, 2011 | career, children, family, Ruth M. Floresca, woman
By Ruth Manimtim-Floresca
We often hear people say they want to leave behind stuff that needs to stay in the past year before turning on a new leaf when the New Year comes. I believe this is actually good practice because the end of a year is a good time to clean the slate, start anew, and forget anything undesirable that happened for the past 12 months. So, here’s sharing several suggestions on what we can do before, or immediately after, the calendar reads January 1:
* Write down specific goals you want to achieve for the next 12 months. It would be better if you also list the essential steps you have to do to accomplish those targets then start with step one. Print everything on paper and post it where you can often see it.
* Gather the family for a “conference.” This is an ideal time to share your resolutions with each other so you can cheer on one another and provide helpful suggestions on how everyone could reach their goals faster. Young children, most especially, would be motivated to reach simple goals with the guidance of their parents.
* Fill up a new calendar or planner with important dates and events such as family and close friends’ birthdays and anniversaries as well as scheduled doctor visits, if any.
* Catch up on miscellaneous stuff. Clean up your e-mail inboxes, finish the pile of laundry in the basket, arrange your closet and take out stuff you can donate or sell to give way for the new things you bought or received during the Christmas season, check if you still have unpaid bills, etc.
* End the current year on a positive note. Make a list of things you are thankful for that happened the past year. Highlight the best ones that made a big impact in your life. These will remind you that there are more good things in store in the coming year. Refer to this list as often as possible in the coming days to be inspired and further encouraged to keep on going.
Photo by Chris Gilbert on Unsplash
by rossanahead | Dec 22, 2011 | career, children, family, Rossana Llenado, woman
By Rossana L. Llenado
I’m a believer in making schedules and lists. It’s one of the best ways to stay organized. If I didn’t have a schedule mapped out, I wouldn’t be able to keep track of all my appointments and obligations. That’s why I need my planner and why I write out the day, week, month, and year.
Every day, I wake up then head off to work within an hour. I spend the day in meetings, making business decisions, troubleshooting, making plans, and networking. By 6 p.m., I am wrapping up my day and I’m at home by 7 p.m. to spend time with my kids. When they’re off to bed, I’m back catching up on what I was unable to do during the day such as checking my e-mails and so forth. I’m asleep after midnight to be ready for the daily grind the following day. Weekends aren’t spared from a structured schedule. As much as I try to set aside time to spend with my kids, there are days when I still need to go to seminars or other events that require my presence.
Even as a young child, I’ve already set a schedule for myself, not only for my day to day activities, but for my life in general. Early on, I knew that I wanted to be successful and I dreamed up all the things that I wanted to achieve and the time it would take for me to get there.
In school, I set my classes in such a way that I would be able to work in the afternoon so I could make extra money. I had so many things going on, the only way I could keep my head above the water was to schedule and prioritize things. If I were any less organized, I would have turned cross-eyed by now.
For example, I determined that after graduating from college, I would have my own business. Back then, I really thought I would have my own restaurant! By the time I was 25, I planned that I would be married. Then I would have kids spaced two to three years apart.
Things didn’t necessarily turn out that way. I was off by a year getting married. I certainly wasn’t able to put up that restaurant. Instead, I ended up establishing an entirely different type of business. When I put up my business, I never thought it would grow into what it is today.
As much as you organize things, life still manages to wreck havoc on the best laid plans. There are just some things you can’t plan for such as death, accidents, surprises, and other tragedies. I never guessed that I would have four children, with twins to boot! And I certainly never imagined myself in the field of education. Having a tutorial and review business is certainly a big difference from having a restaurant to call my own.
There is only so much that I can schedule in my life. I can’t account for the weather, nor can I be responsible for other people’s reactions. I can try to prepare for things as much as I can, but in the end, you can’t always stick to a schedule.
I have found that sometimes, it is the unscheduled things in life that are the most rewarding. Surprises such as a sudden hug from my oldest child after a long day, or when my youngest turns to me to tell me she loves me, are things that cannot be written in. Getting a call or e-mail from a long lost friend, or having to clear my afternoon so I can attend my son’s awarding ceremony at school are other unexpected and unscheduled turns, although pleasant ones. Other major milestones such as getting your first kiss, falling in love or even out of it are events that you can’t plan for or chart.
Setting goals and realistic time lines are ways to keep track of endeavors and to make sure that a proper course is set. I may not always meet it but at least I know it’s something that I am working on. I have several projects that are already delayed, but I don’t let that stress me. I know that some things take longer than others, and there are just some things beyond my control.
by rossanahead | Dec 20, 2011 | children, family, grandparenting, parenting, Ruth M. Floresca
By Ruth Manimtim-Floresca
A friend of mine shared something on his Facebook wall last night. It’s a link to a story he wrote about his dad. Soon after, other friends, including myself, started sharing our own experiences as sons and daughters.
Most of us acknowledged that our parents are human beings too and are bound to make mistakes like we do. We may have been hurt by some of the things our dads and moms did during our growing up years, but we recognize that we have done stuff that caused them pain as well.
Many of my friends and I have already lost our dads or our moms, or both. Some, many years ago; others, just a few months back. But one thing we expressed is how we all love our parents and respect them.
Me? I remember my Tatay as a strict man who can be quick with the belt when my siblings and I made mistakes while we were still kids. When he and our mom had misunderstandings, he would be gone for days, staying in my Lola’s house before coming back with his sense of humor intact. I loved listening to his corny jokes! I also remember him as a person who people go to when they need help. He was generous to a fault and would even lend his last peso to a friend in need.
He was a good granddad to my kids and my nephew. Up until now, 11 years after he passed away, our relatives and people in our town still talk about him with fondness. I also don’t think anybody has yet broken his record for having the longest line of mourners during the long walk to the cemetery when we brought him to his resting place.
When I get asked about the most precious memories I have of my Tatay, I’ll always recall how he would take my youngest son, barely a year old at the time, every morning for a walk around the town while he chitchats with his many friends. The two of them were a common sight in the area which seems to be still engraved in peoples’ memories. It is gratifying that whenever we visit my mom in Laguna, neighbors and friends would look at Daniel and exclaim how big he has grown from that little baby that my Tatay used to bring everywhere. It always gladdens my heart to hear that.
Nobody is perfect and it will serve us well to look beyond a person’s imperfections to appreciate the goodness within. I’ve long since forgiven and forgotten whatever shortcomings my dad had. What I want to remain are the happy memories he left behind.
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
by rossanahead | Dec 11, 2011 | children, Education, family, parenting, woman
By Romelda C. Ascutia
“Your cholesterol is high,” the doctor says, scanning the result of my blood test. My blood cholesterol level is nearly 240mg/dl, above the limit of 200mg/dl.
She prescribes cholesterol-lowering medicine and puts me on a low-fat diet. I’m told to avoid fried, fatty foods and stick to dishes boiled or grilled. She also advises me to cut down on rice and skip the full-cream dairies.
Now I cannot deny my age. I can no longer get away with eating foods that are smothered in grease, fat, butter, cream, and all those ingredients that make eating such a pleasure.
My eating habits will have to change from now on, if not for my sake, then for the sake of my two boys. I don’t want to follow in the footsteps of other parents who died of a heart attack or stroke at a relatively young age, leaving behind young, helpless kids, because they neglected their health.
Contrary to popular belief though, cholesterol per se is not bad for you. It’s actually an essential substance (it looks like wax) that our liver produces to enable certain body functions to continue. It’s required in manufacturing vitamin D, building cell walls and hormones, and producing bile salts for fat digestion.
It’s when there’s too much cholesterol in your blood, usually gained from what you eat, that the problem sets in, because then not all the cholesterol is removed from your bloodstream. The excess is deposited along the walls of the blood vessels as plaque, clogging them to the point where it can block blood flow to the heart or brain, triggering either a heart attack or stroke.
Taking care of one’s health is part and parcel of being a good parent. And that’s why I’m doing research on how to lower blood cholesterol. In addition to taking medication, I found out that dietary and lifestyle changes must be included for any cholesterol-reduction program to work.
I must take note of my cholesterol intake. Cholesterol intake should be less than 300 milligrams a day, total fat intake 30 percent or less of my total calories, saturated fat intake 10 percent or less of the total daily calories, and trans fat intake less than 1 percent of total calorie consumption.
I must maintain a healthy weight. Obesity has been linked to high cholesterol levels.
I must build up a sweat. Thirty minutes of moderate physical activity (biking, walking, swimming) most days of the week can lower cholesterol and help lose extra pounds.
I must choose low-cholesterol foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains (like oats, whole wheat breads and cereals), legumes (beans), and fish. Experts recommend five daily servings of fruits and vegetables every day.
I must go for lean meat and remove noticeable fat before cooking and use skinless poultry. Rather than frying, I will try boiling, broiling, baking, roasting, poaching, steaming, or sautéing. I can also get protein from non-meat sources, such as fish, beans, peas, nuts, and soy products.
I must learn to substitute like choosing low-fat or nonfat milk over the full-cream variety. They have all the nutrients of whole milk, but none of the fat. Rather than cream cheese or sour cream, I’ll opt for low-fat or nonfat dairy substitutes like low-fat buttermilk or yogurt.
I must be picky with eggs. One of the things I miss the most is eggs. Because the yolk is high in cholesterol, I content myself with just the egg white.
I must snack wisely. Fast foods and junk foods are high in fat, sodium, and cholesterol that burden the heart. It’s better to eat fresh fruits, raw veggies, low-fat dips, low-fat whole-grain crackers, unsalted popcorn or pretzels, gelatin, or low-fat yogurt.
Photo by Hush Naidoo on Unsplash
by rossanahead | Dec 8, 2011 | children, family, home, parenting
By Maridol Ranoa-Bismark
“Mom, my classmates want to hold a Christmas party at our house,” my son told me in a voice that was half-pleading, half-threatening.
Uh-oh, I told myself. Time to make a list in between deadlines. The good news is I won’t be doing any of the entertaining and my son’s friends wisely thought of going potluck. The bad news is I will have to coordinate a couple of things that my son is too busy with school to do. I scrounged around for the telephone number of the chair and table rental company and called the nice lady who owned the home-based business.
December is party season, she told me, so she might not be able to deliver the goods at my doorstep. I tried to calm my nerves and begged her to please send her delivery truck since I lived only five minutes away. Besides I’m a faithful customer, entitled to certain privileges; problem solved.
Next, I checked for paper plates, napkins, and drinking cups. Finding our supply running low, I sent someone to get these party musts for me. I then asked the help to resurrect our neglected water jug and wash it clean. The plastic tablemats also had to be washed clean and wiped dry the day before the party, so that it won’t smell “ugh.”
Then I checked the powder room. Is there a bar of soap in the sink? Is the toilet free from cobwebs and other signs of non-use? Is the roll of toilet paper enough? Is the bathroom mirror smudge-free?
Oh, and the dogs! Since we have three, I asked the house help to keep them in the cage and curtail their master-given rights to roam the house in the meantime. It’s the height of bad manners to set them loose and scare the wits out of our young guests.
D-day. The tables and chairs arrived as expected but what’s unexpected was their condition. The delivery guys already left when I discovered that the white monoblock chairs had smudges from a previous party! I turned to the tablecloths. I was shocked all over again when I saw food stains and wrinkles. Obviously, the tablecloths haven’t been tossed inside a washing machine! Thank heavens I had enough time to call the chair rental company and ask for a clean set of chairs and tablecloths before the guests arrived.
One last word: Going potluck means guests have the license to take over your kitchen. So make sure your supply of cooking gas is enough to last until your guests’ kitchen adventures are over. Mine did. And I heaved a sigh of relief.
You think your job is done when the guests are bidding you goodbye? Not quite! Your guests being kids, you have to make sure that they can get to their respective homes safe and sound. When they’re gone, you can pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
Now, where is that mop to clean the floors full of smudged footprints?
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
