by rossanahead | Sep 7, 2011 | Education, Gina Abuyuan, woman
By Regina Abuyuan
Around mid-2004, I did the unthinkable: I joined a self-enhancement seminar.
Before I actually signed up, though, I went through the usual motions: denial that I needed it; balking at the price; and scoffing at the too-happy, seemingly too-confident people who gave their testimonials. “Interesting,” I thought. “But not for me.”
Curiosity and a good deal on the terms of payment made me register eventually, and in two months, I was sitting with a group of a hundred or so people, eager to discover if this seminar (which promised us “everything we wanted out of life” and “personal breakthroughs”) was really everything its participants said it was.
In a way, they were right.
I learned that most, if not all, of us never live in the present. We live in the past or the future, and the baggage of our past and the anticipation of what’s going to happen in the future affect our choices today.
I learned to consider things, events, people, words just as they are—nothing more, nothing less. They only gain meaning when we color them with our own intent and personal dramas.
I learned that the everyday complaints we have about people and situations are what hinder us from moving forward. I learned that we actually are attached to those complaints and don’t want to give them up, even if we know we can and should, because we get a payoff from feeling and believing in such.
What are these payoffs? We may feel right (or righteous), we may feel powerful, or for those who like it, we may feel victimized. Whatever it is, those payoffs make us blind to what really matters: Would you rather be right, or alone? Powerful, or feared? Strong, or perennially stressed out? Victimized, or always dependent on other people’s perceptions of you?
I learned about choices, how they’re different from decisions, and how you can make your life work by re-making your choices every day—or unmaking them with the same commitment if your life isn’t working.
I learned how to “complete” things and issues with other people; and how to feel complete with incompletions if the other person wasn’t yet in the right space to allow that completion.
I even learned that the simple formula of context-breakdown-breakthrough could be applied to almost anything (in fact, it’s one of the formulas I give to younger writers if they ask for story guidelines).
These may sound simple, and I learned so much more from this basic seminar, that I enrolled in the Advanced Course, and later, the Leadership Course. As I am not a trained Forum Leader and one blog entry can’t encapsulate everything the seminar has to offer, it would be unfair for me to expound more.
There are some who get addicted to seminars like these, though, and when that happens, their self-improvement goals become counter-productive. Self-enhancement programs are meant to enable you to stand on your own; they’re not meant to become a crutch.
I stopped being actively involved in those seminars in 2006. Life continued, but this time I was equipped with tools I needed to deal with certain aspects of it; to transform the way I previously handled problems and issues. I don’t use all of them all at once, and sometimes I forget to use them at all, but they’re there when I choose to pull them out, and so far they’ve served me well. “We already know that,” skeptics will say about seminars like these. “We just need a reminder.”
True, but it takes a bit of humility to be open to those reminders; and a bit more to actually accept them. Don’t get me wrong—this isn’t an advertisement for you to go out and sign up for the first self-enhancement class you encounter. Those opportunities for self-improvement can come in different forms, and at the right time.
Meanwhile, be willing to be nudged, to consider another person’s perspective— an external voice, if you will—to make you realize your “blind spots” and help you bloom.
Be willing to do the unthinkable.
![Mapping Me]()
by rossanahead | Sep 3, 2011 | career, Education, Jing Lejano, woman
By Jing Lejano
The other week, I attended a mind mapping workshop with my friends from AHEAD Tutorial & Review Center. I’ve always been fascinated with this thinking tool, which challenges the user to think in a more free form manner.
I’m a writer and when I think, I do so in a linear fashion: one line after the next. In my planner, you’d see all sorts of lists, written neatly one bullet after another. Whenever I’d get one task done, I’d just put a little check beside the bullet and feel all good.
Whenever I’d see these mind maps that go every which way, I get a little intimidated. I ask myself, could I possibly think every which way like that as well?
But as Teacher Y explained mind mapping more clearly, I calmed down. Draw pictures. Use colors. Make the map that makes sense to you, she told us. It’s your map, she says, and you’re free wherever you want to go.
After the lecture, she asked each of us to make a mind map of who we are. At first, I didn’t know what to do but once I started drawing and doodling, there was no stopping me. It was like a whole new world opened up in that blank piece of paper. And it was liberating.
My map, which showed all the different roles that I play in my everyday life, looked a little cluttered and crazy, but it also seemed like a lot of fun. But more importantly, I realized that it was I who drew the map of my own life, and I am happy to be living it.
by rossanahead | Sep 1, 2011 | career, children, Education, Karen Galarpe
By Karen Galarpe
At a lunch meeting with a school official, talk veered to teaching. I asked the woman I met with if she also teaches there.
“No! I can’t teach these young kids. I tried before, but I just can’t do it again. I can teach adults, but not college kids,” she said.
She then went on to explain how difficult teaching is and moreso when the students are not interested or behaved. I nodded in agreement, as I know what she’s talking about.
Back in 2005, I taught communication subjects at a college nearby, and the yearlong stint has instilled in me an even greater respect for teachers. You see, I realized how much of a vocation teaching is.
You spend many hours preparing for your classes, then when you are in class, you give all that you’ve got. Teaching exacts much of you, as you give of yourself so your students can learn. But I realized after a time, that even though you pour out your heart teaching, not everyone will learn. Only those who want to learn, who are willing to learn and be taught, and who are teachable will be the ones to benefit. Even the smart guys stand to lose if they are not hungry to learn.
It’s like me when faced with html codes that all look Greek to me. My brain refuses to process it, or refuses to even try, and I give up right away. I don’t even want to learn html because, well, it looks so complicated and I’d rather leave it for others to decipher. But give me something else–history, current events, whatever, and chances are, I’ll lap it up. I want to learn while I still have breath in me. There’s just so much going on in this world and we have so much to learn from each other.
As parents, we should instill in our children a love for learning. How? It starts with us. When we ourselves show amazement at new discoveries, when we make the effort to feed our minds and engage in critical thinking, when we look upon our world with curiosity and ask, what can I do to make this world better–children pick that up.
Love learning. It’s a great way to live!
by rossanahead | Aug 30, 2011 | children, Education, family, parenting, Ruth M. Floresca
By Ruth Manimtim-Floresca
Recently, a newspaper article posted online caught the attention of many Filipinos and caused a lot of debates in cyberspace. The writer talked about preferring the English language because, according to him, “while Filipino may be the language of identity, it is the language of the streets. It might have the capacity to be the language of learning, but it is not the language of the learned.”
How sad that this person, who happened to be a Filipino, could belittle his own country’s mother tongue! Yes, it can’t be denied that we should know how to speak, read, and write in English because it serves its purpose when it comes to having a good education and better employment. But to point out that learning Filipino is only important because it is practical; that it is simply what you need to use when you are “forced” to relate to the tinderas, the manongs, and the katulongs of this world, is highly insulting.
I am not against children learning one or more languages. Learning other languages can have its advantages. In fact, since we now live in multicultural societies and are also citizens of the world, we need to be able to communicate with people from various geographical locations. Nevertheless, it is important for Filipinos to develop literacy in our mother tongue as well as take pride in the culture of the country we call home.
In my opinion, learning new languages should be viewed as a means to become more aware and respectful of other people’s beliefs, customs, and culture; not as a reason to turn one’s back to where one has come from. Parents thus need to encourage their kids to keep and improve literacy in our mother tongue while teaching them to respect other cultures too.
Here are some ways parents can promote Filipino literacy in their children:
- Even if you want your children to be fluent in English, don’t ban the use of Filipino in your home. For instance, avoid requiring house helpers to only speak to your children in English especially if the helpers are not well-versed in the foreign language in the first place.
- Spend time every day helping your child read and write in Filipino. I usually hear a lot of parents complain that their kids always get low grades in subjects that use the mother tongue. Why not do something more concrete about it?
- Expose your kids to high quality Filipino movies, TV shows, and children’s books written in Filipino. People who say there are no good Filipino films or shows apparently haven’t seen a Cinemalaya film or watched excellent documentary series like i-Witness or Storyline. Buy children’s books written by Filipino authors. Many of these come with both English and Tagalog versions in the same volume.
- Share stories of your childhood including traditions and customs you grew up with. Encourage children to ask questions and find out more interesting things to talk with you about.
- Have kids spend time with their grandparents for more stories. Periodically bring them to your family’s province and meet distant relatives. Visit historical sites around the country so they could learn our country’s origins first hand.
- Teach children old songs from different regions. Bring them to concerts (e.g. Ang Bagong Harana) and theater plays (e.g. Noli Me Tangere or Rizal X) with Filipino themes. Do not discourage them from listening to OPM music with Filipino lyrics because we have so many talented artists who write beautiful words and melodies.
Nelson Mandela once said, “If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.” Our native language connects us with our society’s culture and shapes our identity. It is one of the best instruments that preserve who we are as Filipinos. May we never forget that.
by rossanahead | Aug 27, 2011 | career, Education, Mari-an Santos, woman
By Mari-An Santos
I am in the midst of packing my life.
A few weeks ago, I shared the news with all of you that I was awarded a scholarship grant to take up my Masters abroad, specifically in Europe under the Erasmus Mundus program. After receiving the happy news, I thought that the toughest task I would have to do was to pack my bags. I was wrong. The process of obtaining a student visa isn’t exactly easy—and I even had to fly to another country to get the process going. Don’t ask.
Fortunately, things ironed themselves out and now here I am, on the verge of moving.
I look around at my room now. On one side, bags and suitcases are stacked, huddled together like an army in the trenches; in one corner, almost-empty bookshelves and cabinets; and strewn all around are CDs, books, notebooks, brochures, and leaflets that have yet to be organized and categorized. But how do you pack up more than half a decade of memories?
The task of giving away some of the books, magazines, CDs, and clothes that would have added more weight to my already burgeoning luggage was close to Herculean. Clothes had to be categorized under the “yes,” “no,” and “maybe” piles.
The books were the hardest to go through. After setting aside the books that I had borrowed, which were to be returned to their rightful owners, I couldn’t bring myself to give away or even sell any of the books I had before me. My mother always says, “If you’ve already read them, why can’t we give them away?” But with a heavy heart, I eventually bid goodbye to a handful.
I also had to decide which brochures, maps, old flight and bus tickets, and calling cards I could throw out. The memories from each and every trip triggered by a scrap of paper or a notation on a map, made me hesitate every time. Calling cards, though years old, may prove useful later on. In the end, I decided to scale down the pile of cards and to have my maps and travel guides adopted by friends.
Looking around my room, I am impressed at how I managed to fit so many items into less than a dozen bags. I am also amazed at how much the human brain can recall. Though I have given away many things, the memories they conjure are vast and unlimited.
Wish me luck!
![Mapping Me]()
by rossanahead | Aug 25, 2011 | children, Education, parenting, Rossana Llenado
By Rossana Llenado
It was a terribly busy day filled with all sorts of stress and get-it-done drama when I received some great news. My son Paolo has been accepted at Mensa Philippines after taking the qualifying exams at the University of the Philippines.
When I read the letter from Mensa Philippines, which was addressed to Paolo, my eyes watered up immediately. It stated: “Your equivalent IQ is 134 which ranks you at the 98th percentile. Since this is within the upper two percent on a recognized intelligence test, this means you qualify for membership in MENSA.”
Mensa is a society comprised of people with IQs belonging to the top 2 percent of the population. One of Mensa’s goals is to promote intellectual opportunities for its members, which I hope that Paolo would take advantage of so that he can reach his full potential.
I am just so proud of Paolo!
When he was younger, I already had an inkling of his exceptional intelligence. When he was in grade 5, he took a test at the Ateneo, which found out that his capacity to learn math was that of someone who had already finished high school.
This is why I’ve always encouraged him, as well as my three other children, to pursue his interests. If there was a book that stimulated his mind, I got it for him immediately.
Paolo’s eyes are also as sharp as an eagle’s. He’s our master proofreader. Last summer, I asked him to proofread AHEAD’s reference materials. These materials were produced by 20 honor graduates from the University of the Philippines, Ateneo, and La Salle. I told Paolo that I’ll give him P50 for every typographical error that he identifies. I ended up paying him P16,000 that summer!
But apart from being smart, I am prouder of the fact that Paolo has always been a kind and considerate child, sensitive to the needs of his brother and sisters. He is also very responsible when it comes to his duties at school and at home while being gentle to those around him. Paolo is everything that a mom could wish for in a son, and for this I am very grateful!
